chand pe kali ghata chahti ti hogi,sitaron ko muskarahat aati to hogi tum lakh chupao dunia se magar akele main tumhain apni shakal pe hansi aati to hogi.
Jo log chale jaate hain woh wapis nahi aate
Hum bhoolna bhi chahein to bhula nahi paate
Yeh chand sitaray mujhe karte hain naseehat
Raton ko phira karte ho so kyon nahi jaate
Kiss is te key of Love
Love is the key of marriage
Marriage is the box of children
Children are problem of Pakistan
So Stop kissing and save Pakistan
Yeh tumhara SULAGTA hua JISM ...KAPKAPATAY HONT....LARKHARATI AAWAZ...THARTHARATA BADAN ...mujhe pehle se shuq tha ke tumhain MALARIA HAI.....
Promise me we are true friends
I am lamp you are light
I am Coke you are Sprite
I am Sawan you are badal
I am Normal you are Pagal
I am Water you are Tanki
I am Tarzan you are Monkey
Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly....
If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...
Teri aankain jhuki jhuki
tera chehra khila khila
jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya
to aadha kilo fair & lovely mila
Police constable to his son:
Tumhara result acha nahee aaya,
aaj se tumhara khelna aur tv band
Son: Yeh 50 rupay pakro aur mamla yehin khatam karo
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya, Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya , Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya
Hello!
Mein AMITABH BACHAN bol raha hoon
KON BANE GA CROR PATI se
apki patni mere samne bethi hain
agli awaz ap ki patni ki
BACHAO, BACHAO, BACHAO
na tum chat per atin , na main deewana hota , na tum patthar martin , na main kana hota
Yeh hamari Mardam Shumari ki Sms Service hai
Ager ap Male hai to 2 sms karai
Ager Female hai to 1 Sms karai
Ager Apna ap per shak hai to koi sms na karain.
mil gaya oye mil gaya
oye oye mil gaya
oho mil gaya
ballay ballay
mil he gaya
aj to mil he gya
ye sms parhne wala ek aur bewaqoof mil gaya
Samander ka kinare betha kero
Koi na koi to laher aye gi
Kismat na badli to kia huwa
Kam se kam Shakel hi Dhul jaye gi
Kya Ap ko
Pata hai ap ki
In khoobsorat
Aur piyari si
Ankho
k neeche
jo naak hai
Beh rehi hai
Jaldi saaf kero
can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine???????
ise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi , Jise pyar kiya woh italy chali gayi , Dil ne kaha khud kushi kar le zalim , Bijali ko haath lagaya to bijali chali gayi
Aap na insaan ho na Animal
Balke aap to Farishta ho
Pata he konsa Farishta ?
Wo jo Jannat se nikala gaya
Kaaash ke tere chehre par Chickenpox ke daag hote..... , Kaaash ke tere chehre par chickenpox ke daag hote..... , Chand to tu hai hi ..sitaare bhee saaath hote
who r u … bell maari kyoon … is se pehle kay … khule mera mu … jaldi se bata de … koun hai tu … ali zafar ki channo … ya raheem shah ki saba ru
Kya aankheiN hain aapki, kya baatein hain aapki.. us khuda ne kuch aisa aapko bnaya hai... ,maano..."Shhhsss...KOI Hai" se bhoot nikal aaya hai....
dil main basa hai pyar tera , aankhon main basi hai tasweer teri , jab bhi aati hai yaad teri , hum dekhte hain,,, t0m & jerry hahahahaha....
Good morning...
Have u done two of the most important things when you Wakeup today?
1)Pray, so that u may live...
2)Take a bath-so that others may live too
Yaad karte hai tumhe tanhai me,
Dil duba hai gamo ki gahrai me,
hume mat dhundo duniya ki bhid me,
hum milenge tumhe fir kisi,
free SMS ki scheme me.
Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!!!!!
Dosti kro college wali se, Ishq larao office wali se, Flirt kro pros wali se, Pyar kro dilwali se, ankh larao sali se, aur maar khao ger wali se.
Jaate hue kuch aisa kar ke jayo kaam
ki har galli se awaaz aaye..."ABBA JAAN"..." ABBA JAAN"
Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,??
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.
wen i go wrong , need ur hand 2 correct,
wen emotions bust out, need ur hand 2 catch,
wen i win, need ur hand 2 pat.
in short “YA HATH MUJHE DE DE THAKUR
ek jungle mein chuhay se sab dartey the,
agar sher us k samnay aa jata to dar kar bhaag jaata,
haathi bhi kahin chup jata,
aas paas k log yeh dekh kar preshaan huay or kaha aakhir kia maajra hai,
pata chala chuha MQM mein tha.
Life brings ‘’Kabhi khushi kabhi gum'’
When it ‘’ Na tum jano na hum'’
So let do ‘’Masti'’ 2 gather
Who knows ‘'’ Kal ho na ho'’
But when ever u need true friend ‘’ Main hoon na'’
GOD ne aap ko bheja tou bheja
lekin bheja tou aesa bheja ke bheje main bheja hi nahi
bheja yeh SMS mujhey kisi ne bheja is liyeh main ne app ko bheja
Itna Khubsurat kese muskuralete ho...?
Itna Katil Kese Sharmalete Ho.....?
Bachpan Se kameene Ho .....?
Ya Shakal Ayisy banalete Ho ...?
GIRL FRIEND IS FOR FUN,WIFE IS FOR SON, GIRL FRIEND IS NIGHT PARTNER,WIFE IS LIFE PARTNER, GIRL FRIEND IS TOOTY FRUITY WHILE WIFE IS QISMATH POOTI
Aaj eik zindagi aur jee lo!…
Aaj eik sapna aur dekh lo!…
Aaj eik SMS aur karlo! aaj bas aaj…!
kiya pata? Kal Balance ho na ho
Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note mama'
A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....
exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya
KUCH TO HUA HAI KUCH HO GAYA HAI,
exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya
SAB KUCH ALAG HAI SAB KUCH NAYA HAI.
Tum paas hot to tujhpe pyar aata hai,
Tum door ho to tera intezaar satata hai.
Kya kahe is dil ki haalat ki,
Tujhe yaad kar karke hume bukhaar ho jaata hai.
Hamaare Dil ke arman aansuon me beh gaye,
Hum gali me thay gali me reh gaye,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Kambakhat light chali gayi,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unki mummy se keh gaye..
Dil mein aansuyo ke mele hain
Tum bin hum bohat akele hain
Sab kuch chod kar tumeh e-mail karte hain
Dekho hum kitne vele hain
Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain
maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain
Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko
aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain....
waaaaahhhhhhhhh...
Bachelors schedule
Monday ko dosti,
Tuesday ko pyaar,
Wednesday ko shaadi,
Thursday ko barbaadi,
Friday ko fighting,
Saturday ko talaaq,
Sunday ko rest,
Monday ko next!!!
Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi
socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi...
Why do U think I SMS u ? Is it because I care ? Or I miss u ? Or I love u ? Or I need You ? No ! It’s b’coz… Timepass ke liye koi BAKRA chaiye !
Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota
Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shukar hai tum nahi ho!!!
Dost mere marne ke baad aansu na bahaana Jab yaad aaye meri, to seedhe upar hi chale aana.
Andhe ke hath me "TORCH",
Bihre ke hath me "RADIO",
Gunge ke hath me "MIKE",
AUR AAP KE HATH ME "MOBILE"
WAH WAH Kya Zamana Aaya hai!!!
Arzo hai unki galiyon ke chakkar kaat kaatte
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
kutton ke sardar ho gaye..
Lamha Lamha waqt guzar jayega...
Chand lamhon mein exam aa jayega...
Abhi bhi waqt hai, do line padh lo...
Warna pass kya MUNNA BHAI karvayega???
Yeh mat sochna ki hum bhool jayenge tuemhe,
Door rehkar bhi hamesha
chahenge tumhe,Agar Dost bankar raas na aaye to
Bhoot bankar darayenge tumhe
Gulaab ko bhi Kamal bana dete,Uski ek Ada pe Koi gazal bana dete...Kambhakt marti nahi mujh par larkiyaan,Warna Lahore me bhi TAJMAHAL bana dete
softdrinks Contain Dangerous Pestcides.
Insan to newspaper padh sakte hain
par janwaro ka kya hoga kyonki....
Aaj kal CHEETAH BHI PEETA HAI !
HAR KHUSI KO TERI TARAF MOD DENGE, TERE LIYE CHAND TARE TOR DENGE, TERE LIYE KHUSIYON KE DARVAAZE KHOL DENGE, 1 BAAR HAS KE TO DIKHO TERE SAARE DAANT TOR DENGE HA..HA..HA
A 60 year old bachelor advertizes his zaroorat-e-rishta in newspaper. After a month, he gets a letter saying, "Miyan! Is umar mein farishtey aatey hain, rishtey nahin."
Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..
Zindagi mein teen cheezen kabhi bhi aa sakti hain....
PAISA..... MAUT.....
Aur..... Aur..... Aur.....
Mera SMS !
Porpose karne ka naya style..! Chand ko toor donga, Suraj ko phor donga, Tu ek bar bar haan karde buss.. Pahli wali ko chor donga!
Ager dum hai tu is sawal ka jawab yes or no me deke batao … …. … kya aapko pagalpan ke dure padhne band ho gaye hai?
maine pucha chand se k kahin dekha hai mere yar sa hasin.....chand ne kaha ullu k pathe itni upar se kiya dikhta hai koi
Ha ha ha ha hha ha ha ha ha hha ha
ho ho ho ho ho oh oh oh ooh ohh eh eh he he
hhe he he hee he he hha ha ho ho ho ho he he he.........
KUCH NAHIN BAS TUMHARI
SHAKAL YAAD AA GAYI.... ha ha ha ha ho ho ho ho.....
Agar Feroz Khan Don hota to dialouge kya hota?
Mere sar par baal aane ka intezaar to 11 shehron ke naayi kar rahe
hain, par mere sar par baal aana mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai…
Evolution of Man:
Shadi se pahale: HERO No. 1
Shadi ke baad: COOLIE No. 1
Shadi se pahale: Meine Pyar Kiya
Shadi ke bad: Yeh Meine kya kiya
Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
!@#$$##$$$^%&())+)*(&*&^%$#@@@#$$%^^^&&*(__(*&%$ ##@#&*&?"}::_+|+_)*(^%$##$% aakhe faad ke kya dekh rahe ho jaki chan ka sms aya tha forward kar diya
Once a chunti saw a dali of Gur , she went to eat it, but on the way she saw a muscular chunta,she left the gur and went to chunta,because, GUR NALO ISHQUE MITHA, oyehoy
Ek sawal...14FEB VALENTINES DAY ko log AISA KYA KARTE HAI KI THEEK 9 MAHINAY BAAD 14 NOV KO "CHILDREN DAY" MANANA PADTA HAI
Banta Sing! u get marry with Santa after my death,
Wife!, but why? He is ur no 1 enemy,
Banta!, this is only way to take revenge with santa sing.
Pakistani governament ne naya kanoon laagu kiya hai,
Khubsurat logo ko mulk se baher nikal diya jaega,
TUM to safe ho,
Mai kahan jaun.
GIRL before marriage looks like Brbie doll,
After merriage Beautiful doll,
after one year Nice doll,
after two years only doll,
after three years
PANADOL.
sorry 4 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious matter has comeup actually, we r playing a cards and I lost the joker
Boy to girl: Lets go to jungle.......
Girl: No!
Your will do something wrong with me.........
Boy: By God I will not!
Girl: tay fer jan da faida
majnu ko laila ka sms naheen aaya, majnu ne 3 din se khana naheen khaya majnu marne wala tha laila ke piyar main aur laila bethee thi sms free honeke intizaar main.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man married a lady traffic inspector , friend: How was your first night
Man: She charged Rs.100. for over speeding Rs.200. for wrong side entry and
500. for no helment
SMS”,,,,SMS,,,SMS,,,,SMS,,,SMS,,,,SMS,,,,SMS”,,,,SMS,,,SMS,,
,,SMS,,,
SMS,,,,SMS
Khush? ab yeh na kehna ki
hum SMS nahi bhejte..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apathan tried to commit suicide.
Some one asked: why are you doing this?
Pathan: Hamara bivi hamara dost ke saath bhag gaya hai
aur hum apne dost ke bagher nahi jee sakta
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jaisi biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maine kaha "Dil Ruba"
Usne kaha balance bhijwa
Maine kaha "Paise Nahi"
Usne kaha "Kaise nahi"
Maine kaha "Mehangai Hai"
Usne kaha "Ja aaj se tu mera bhai ha
Naukarani: Malikan aap itni udass kyon bethi hain
Malikan: Tumhare sahab office me kisi larki se pyar karte hain
Naukarani: Nahiiiiiiii sahab mujhe dhoka nahi de sakte
Phulon se khoobsurat koi nahi.
Sagar se gahara koi nahi.
Aab aapki kya tarif karu...
Dost me aap jaisa...
Nalayak koi nahi!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yaad hai hum pehli baar kahan miley they...train ruki.......khidki khuli.......nazron se nazren mili.........aur app ne kaha ..........Allah ke naam pe dede BABA
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Laila komajnu ka sms nahi aya
Laila ne 3 din say khana nahi khaya
Laila marne wali thi majnu ke pyar main
Aur majnu betha tha sms free honay ke intezar mein
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kash kabhi aap hamari gali mein ayen
Thora sa sharmayen
Thora sa ghabrayen
Thora itrayen
Thora muskurayen
Aur phir zor se chilayen
TEEN DABA WAICH LO
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mrs. Dahhi & Bhalla request the pleasure of ur company to attend the marriage of their son
Kaka Gol Gappa
weds
Bibi Paapdi
(D/o Mrs. Kachori & Mr. Samosa of Tikkipuri)
at Pastry Hall, on 29th February, Near Jalebi Chowk, Papad Nagar
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Which boy has the permission to get into
a girls bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes
Answer: Lifebouy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Arz kiya hai..... , Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai , wah wah! wah wah! , Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai , khafa ho humse ya balance kam hai? , ha ha ha ha.....
Boy romantically: Yaar tumhari jooti kitni achi hai
Girl angrily: Utaroon kia
Boy: phir to tumhare kapre bhi bohat ache hain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mandir mein jaap karta hoon, Masjid mein adaab karta hoon, Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun , isliye roz tujhko SMS karke paap karta hoon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maha ko dieting ka shq hua
Mein le ai sufi, sufi pe aetmad jo tha
Subha uth kar dekha na maha thi na sufi
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apple kat ta hoon knife se , Paani peeta hoon pipe se , Kya zamana aaa gaya, Joote khata hoon wife se
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jab tum haste ho to lagta hai ka insan pehle bandar tha
Dekho gusa mat karo, kyon k jab tum gusa karte ho
to lagta hai k insan aaj bhi bandar hai
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kya meri nak teri hai
ankhen mendki jesi hain
surat se besharm lagta hoon
pagal hoon, akal nahi mujhe
phir kise ne aisa kiyo kaha meri surat tumse milti hai
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birds love u
monkeys love u
ducks love u
rabbits love u
turtles love u
wolfs love u
and I suggest u
Please go back to zoo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
!@@$##%^%^&(
*%$%#$^%^*^^%$@
^%$#*^&^#@$_((
%^&@@@^@$$%%
!!!!@^**)(_*><&*)&
<>?<>?^$&)&*(%)_**
Don ka sms parhna mushkil he nahi na mumkin bhi hai
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newton said to asardar g: Meri dictionary mein imposible ka word nahi hai
Sardar g: te salaya dictionary dekh k lany si
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good news,
a new way to send a romantic kiss to your girl friend
just call me & order your KISS
I will personaly go & deliver it
Any order sir?
No charges
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Emergency, mere mobile ke hadsa ho gia he
is waqt jaz hospital me hai
usey 1 sms ki ashad zroorat ai
Us ki jan ka swal hai
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boy: tum gaana bohat acha gaati ho
Girll: nahin mein to sirf bathroom singer hoon
Boy: to bulaao na kabhi mehfil jamaate hain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me ne apko khwab me dekha
ap huron ke darmian the
me ne allah se poocha is ko kis neki ki ye jaza mili hai
jawab aya: is ko jaza nahi mili huron ko saza mili hai
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In 1980 Girl: mama can I wear jeans
Mama: na beta log kia kahen ge
In 2006 Girl: mama can I wear mini skirt?
Mama: pehan meri bachi kuch to pehan
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jo detay hain larkion ko tauhfe
wo sajate hai un ki shaadion ke sofay
jo jate hain larkion ke pechay
who atay hain new khan kay niche
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chaha hai jise chahat se ziada
samjha hai jise mohabbat se ziada
Bharosa hai mujhe jispe khud se ziada
TU HI HAI WO HARAMZADA
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
raat ki tanhai main
agar koi apke kaan mein sargoshi kare
ya apke gaal choome to wo koi or nahi yakinan koi machar hi hoga
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
baryani khane ki dua
Niyat krta hoon main 4 plate baryani ke vaste 15, 20 boti ke
bama zarda, raita or salad ke
moun mera deigh ki taraf. bismillah
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Osama bin ladin's favourite song....
Main nikla
oh plane le ke
oh raste mein
oh new york mein
ek mor aaya
mein world trade centre tor aaya
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beta: papa papa mujhe bandar dekhna hai
Papa: Nahi beta abhi nahi
Beta:Kyun?
Papa: Kyun K abhi bandar sms parh raha hai na
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just imagin life without girls:
the result:
markets silent,
streets empty,
the police at rest,
all moiles companies in loss,
no sms,
no flowers,
no valentines's
no gifts,
no candles,
no perfumes,
no long drives
or
or sare mard jannat mein
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Muna bhai: abe circuit ye bata agar bina danton ka kutta kate to kya karne ka
Circuit: simple munna bhai bole to bina sui ke 14 injection lagane ka
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: bhagewaan suit te bara sohna paya he
Paaro: thank u g
Santa: lipstick v bari sohni layi hoyi he
Paaro: thank u g
Santa: singhar v sohna lag rea he
Paaro: thank u g
Santa: par sohni fair v nai lag rai.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Woh choom lain aik bar to aati nahi neend
unki awaz sunte sunte raat jati hai beet
is liye kehta hoon eh risk na uthao
MORTIEN JALAO MACHAR BHAGAO
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I love three things
1 pizza
2 pepsi
3 you
Reasons: pizza to eat
pepsi to drik
and you to........
table kon ssf kare ga
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PATENT:- DOCTOR SAABH MUJHE BAHUT PATLE DAST AA RAHE HAI
DOCTOR:- KITNE PATLE
PATENT:- DOCTOR SAABH BAHUT PATLE
DOCTOR:- KITNE PATLE
PATENT:- SAABH ITNE PATLE KI SMS PADNE VALLA KULLi KAR LE
Usne haathon per mehndi lagai hui hai
Hum ne uski doli sajai hui hai
Hume pata tha woh bewafa nikle gi is liey
Humne uski choti behan bhi phasai hui hai
Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
dasva ane wala he…
ye andar ki baat hai
isme Vajpayee ka hat hai..
Aahat si koi aye to lagta hai ki tum ho.
Hawa koi lehrayi to lagta hai ki tum ho.
Ab tum hi batao,
kya tum kisi BHOOT se kam ho ?
Quad-e-azam fout ho chuke hain
Liaqat ali bhi shaheed ho chuke hain
Allama iqbal bhi nahi rahe
Meri bhi tabyat sahi nahi rehti
pata nahi Pakistan ka kya bane ga
1 doctor apni beti ki shadi kis se kare ga?
Jawab do?
comander safeguard se q k woHi to hai mulk bhar main doctorz ki
awalin pasand.
jab t.v acha nan lage ghar wale ache nan lagain sweet girls achi naan lagain yahan tak k mun pasand khana acha nan lagay tu … tu kia ”washroom jao yaar pait main garbar hai”
Arz kiya hai,
Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Ghanti bajainge aur bhaag jayenge !
